Love Versus Infatuation: What Type of Love Match You Have
How Relationship Starts
A relationship usually starts, when we feel a subjective sense of being alone, our internal life needs a companion. We are ready to be in a relationship before we fall into a bond. Very few times, do we indulge in relationships without our conscious attachment and attraction to be in a romantic or an intimate relationship.
It means that we are ready to fall in love before we fall in love. This can happen one-sided as well. A man finds subconsciously a need to be around a lover. He hocks upon a lady that he finds attractive. As the subconscious mind is already attuned to accepting the emotional feeling of falling in Love, it becomes more vulnerable and suggestible to outer stimuli.
Infatuationhttp://Love – Robert J. Sternberghttp://www.robertjsternberg.com › love
Infatuated love results from experiencing the passion component in the absence of the other components of love. Empty love emanates from the decision that one loves another and is committed to that love without the intimacy and passion components of love.
It might be the case that the lady is not yet ready for making a relationship, or does not subconsciously desire to fall in love. The approach is so convincing that she could not resist the impulse. She urges to know more about being loved. She was not ready for this love ride. She might be considering it an act of infatuation, curiosity, or exploration.
Sometimes, the woman feels isolated, has social aloofness, and it creates an intense desire to be around a companion. This companionship can give her confidence, social approval, and acceptance of her image. She is already, vulnerable to falling in love.
When she watches a man that is more or less compatible with her image of a loved figure, she considers him to be her Love Match. In this way, the unconscious and subconscious decide our destiny with whom we are going to fall in love. It all happens so abruptly, suddenly, and within the friction of a second that we feel that we are unable to control ourselves. The emotions carry a physiological and psychological trigger that we believe that we did not consciously make an effort to be in love, or fall in love. It all seems to be an automatic, and highly involuntary act.
Love is complicated. This complex sentiment can not be explained in a directed way.
There are particularly useful people’s notions of love which are conceptualized as :
1. Love Addiction. Strong anxious attachment; clinging behavior, anxiety at thought of losing a partner. You feel that you will be drowned at the thought of losing your lover. This thought creates high anxiety.
2. Art. Love of partner for physical attractiveness; More importance is given to the partner for always looking good. Infatuation usually encompasses this component of Love.
3. Business. Relationships as business propositions; money is power; partners in close relationships see themselves as business partners.
4. Collection. Partners are viewed as “fitting in” to some overall scheme; partners view themselves in a detached way.
5. Cookbook. Doing things a certain way (recipe) results in relationships being more likely to work out; departure from a recipe for success leads to an increased likelihood of failure.
6. Fantasy. Often expects to be saved by a knight in shining armor or to marry a princess and live happily ever after.
7. Game. Love as a game or sport. The adventure is overpowering the emotion. It feels more like exploring a game and advancing its levels.
8. Gardening. Relationships need to be continually nurtured. It is considered a young seedling that will flourish with the right care and value-adding.
9. Government. (a) Autocratic. One partner dominates or even controls the other. (b) Democratic. Two partners equally share power.
10. History. Events of a relationship form an indelible record; keep a lot of records–mental or physical. Extracting relief from past events.
11. Horror. Relationships become interesting when you terrorize or are terrorized by your partner.
12. House and Home. Relationships have their core in the home, through its development and maintenance.
13. Humour. Love is strange and funny.
14. Mystery. Love is a mystery and you shouldn’t let too much of yourself be known.
15. Police. You have got to keep close tabs on your partner to make sure he/she toes the line, or you need to be under surveillance to make sure you behave.
16. Pornography. Love is dirty, and to love is to degrade or be degraded.
17. Recovery. Survivor mentality; view that after past trauma, a person can get through practically anything.
18. Religion. Either view love as a religion, or love as a set of feelings and activities dictated by religion.
19. Sacrifice. To love is to give of oneself or for someone to give of him or herself to you.
20. Science. Love can be understood, analysed, and dissected, just like any other natural phenomenon.
21. Science Fiction. Feeling that partner is like an alien is incomprehensible and very strange.
22. Sewing. Love is whatever you make it. You can tailor it up to your needs.
23. Theatre. Love is scripted, with predictable acts, scenes, and lines.
24. Travel. Love is a journey.
25. War. Love is a series of battles in a devastating dating but continuing war.
26. Student-teacher. Love is a relationship between a student and a teacher.
Components of Love;
According to Sternburg https://www.simplypsychology.org/types-of-love-we-experience.html
- Intimacy: The closeness each partner feels to the other and the strength of the bond that binds them together. Partners high in intimacy like value and
- understand their partners.
- Passion: It is based on romantic feelings, physical attraction, and sexual intimacy with the partner.
- Decision/Commitment: It represents cognitive factors such as acknowledging that one is in love and has a commitment to maintaining the relationship.
According to Sternberg, these components are fundamental to what love is and interact in different ways to create various kinds of love (Sternberg, 1986).
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