Tittering on the Edge of a Trembling Marriage: wellnessbyfarah


Tittering on the Edge of a Trembling Marriage

The institution of marriage is a fascination where all fairy-tale stories end. The prince and her princess live happily ever after.

All we see in real life, after a period of the relationship- is a dissatisfied ungrateful marriage or a relationship deluded in doubts and suspicion. Where a series of blame games are triggered by both sides.

The honeymoon period is short-lived for most couples. The modern, busy, bustling life has made relationships more complicated too. There is a list of fascinations and temptations. The ideal life, ideal partner, ideal habits, and ideal lifestyle all vanish when a serious or practical commitment or living together starts.

Contrary to all this there are couples, that seem to be very cozy in their little world.

Contentment in a relationship brings two important factors for us in general terms. 

Compatibility versus chemistry 

The chemistry between two people plus their compatibility with each other is the ingredient for a balanced happy marital life or a romantic relationship.

Chemistry   

“The charismatic Bonding force”

It means that two people share some common physiological, and biological similarities. They feel at ease with each other. Their bodies respond to each other’s sensuality. They are more eager for a physical connection and an emotional bond. There is a match of frequency between their energies. They share some common energies.  The vibrations are attuned to one string. The two people are harmonious around each other. They know exactly what pleases the other partner. How to bring arousal, and a deep sense of connection. 

 

Compatibility 

“Shared norms and values”

The two people are compatible with each other in terms of their ethnic, religious, sectarian, social economic, political, or financial grounds. They have some educational harmony. The family values and norms have some shared characteristics. The brought up, lifestyles, habitual patterns,  food, culture, and festivities are similar. The two people seem to be compatible with each other in terms of their looks, height, skin color, or any ground to which they want to maintain and hold on to their relationship for a long practice.

 Here comes Four combinations through which we can direct how long or fruitful a couple can feel during the journey of togetherness.

 

LOW CHEMISTRY/ LOW COMPATIBILITY
Such relationships are devoid not of intimacy but baby basic conversation. The connection is superficial and artificial. Sometimes the partners know that they are on a holiday trip, one-night stand, or have some common goals, such as dealing with finance, rent, or some other materialistic objectives. The connection is not based on true values and emotions. The sugar daddy, arrogant boss, or a bitchy land lady often play this type of bonding. The couple most of the time knows that they are not together because they really like each other, or want each other emotionally. Show off, Society pressures, and presentation to others is the main component of such relationships.

 

HIGH CHEMISTRY/ LOW COMPATIBILITY
When it feels so right, but you know that it’s oh-so-wrong. It feels like the walking dumpster
fire of a relationship. It doesn’t last long. If you meet someone on an occasion, it feels so good to be around each other. You crack jokes and make comments about people at the party, and you feel like a connection is just being made. You feel overwhelmed by the other person. You feel immense attraction to his/her body language, and the way he/she smells, talks, and behaves. You feel triggered by his/her charisma. You exchange numbers. Share social media ids. 

Now that after a while you both have started making conversation. You feel that he posts bad comments, about some celebrity you like, or people of your ethnic background. He suppresses women or thinks low about the opposite gender. You feel some clear clash in religious conversations, to which it’s not easy for you to stand. Love is in the air, you try to adjust yourself by trying to understand contrary views. Sooner you start getting fucked up by his/her thoughts. You feel a clash in your social identities, core life values, and principles you carry. There starts a split session. 

The reason is you were both fantastic in terms of your physiological needs and frequency that connects the opposite gender. You are marvellous sexual, emotional, and sensual partners. However, the practical grounds were different. The realm of life in which you both live does not share a compatible ground. You have lesser space available to flourish your relationship. 

 

LOW CHEMISTRY/ HIGH COMPATIBILITY

The couples are not together in emotional connectivity mode. It is a cold, formal, business oriented mostly asexual companionship. Entire relationship comprised of sessions about Netflix, pants, and frozen meals. The couples are together as a product of some business or a family deal. The families feel connected due to shared social values. Less importance is given to the sentiments of the couple. Most arranged marriages are based on this principle. Sexuality is taken as a by-product of marriage. The liking, matching, and connection between couples are not considered necessary conditions to carry on with the relationship. The couple is less independent to draw decisions about themselves. They are mostly bonded in great social, financial, or political interests. 

 

HIGH CHEMISTRY/ HIGH COMPATIBILITY

It is a bombshell relationship. It’s a rare combination, but strangely adorable, it’s the perfect pattern of a long-term relationship. The obstacles may hurdle the couple, but they seem to remain connected with each other. The bond gets stronger with time. The chemistry between their personal, private selves and their relative circumstances hold them in a strong bond. They share common goals, objectives, and core values about life are not only similar but their physiological responses to each other, and to anyone around them are also similar. 

The problem with such type of relationship usually comes at a point, where after a life of less stress, less controversy, and less fighting there is less mutual growth. They usually have a similar point of view about life. Their life stands at a halt after a time of progress. Their mutual harmony does not let them get beyond controversies and find divergent solutions to problems. They gain a comfort zone, both in sexual and social terms that they start living in an inflated balloon. They never argue, so there is never a new version of understanding different things.

Research studies

 This interesting myth has been well documented and researched. Facio and Sherrell suggest that the key to deciphering your relationship is staying curious and open-minded about one another. Particularly in the early stages, they advise not putting too much pressure on your companion. Rather, it’s about making your values clear and seeing where it leads you.

Not focusing too heavily on either chemistry or compatibility can also help a relationship thrive. Assessing the longevity of your relationship can be a difficult task, but is made easier with a joint effort from your partner. 

Ultimately, every couple has a different dynamic, and if it works for you, that is all that matters. As the experts advise, taking your time getting to know someone is the surest way of beginning a successful relationship.

So go slow and see where your relationship takes you. Do not over-analyze every thought and feeling. You might end up pleasantly surprised by what happens when you step out of your head.

 People prefer to have a compatible relationship for a long-term commitment
  • You feel truly comfortable around each other and don’t need to constantly work at impressing each other.
  • There’s mutual respect between the two of you
  • You share similar concerns about the world and your values are in sync.
  • Your partner accepts you for who you are, doesn’t try to change you, and validates your perspective.
  • You have similar lifestyle choices and a shared vision for the life you want to create together. 
  • You share a strong desire to learn and grow with your partner.

Analyses of Chemistry Versus Compatibility

 

 

 

 

 

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